Over the past decade, I’ve crossed paths with the Honourable Order of Bass Drinkers more times than I can count, usually during their annual pilgrimage to Burton. Like clockwork, I’d spot them around eight on a Sunday evening, a gallon of Bass already under their belts, living up to the “drinkers” part of their name without apology.
Formed in Manchester in 1967, years before CAMRA even existed, the HOBD can boast to be the oldest ale-enthusiast group in the country. Their motto is “numquam facere quae per partes” which kind of translates to “never do things by halves”, try it during a HOBD meeting and you will get fined. Their original branch has since inspired others: a lively one in Blackpool, another in the New Forest, and obviously Burton itself, which held its inaugural meeting at The Constitutional Club last October.
I was invited to join the HOBD – Burton Division last year but hit a sticking point straight away: they recognise the non-Burton-brewed bottled version to be Bass. It isn’t; it is not even close. Call me stubborn, but as the admin of the Great Stuff This Bass Facebook group, which firmly supports the Burton version only, it felt like betrayal. However, since the recent unexpected but welcome interest by brand owners AB-InBev, the bottled version has quietly disappeared. I’ve even heard that it might return but with Burton brewed Bass. It is a good rumour, I should know as I started it.
So, what was stopping me?
The Burton Division has made The Devonshire Arms its headquarters, so I turned up one Sunday, purely as an observer. Research, I told myself. Definitely. Not. Joining.
“The Devi has fantastic Bass,” says HOBD – Burton Division President Gary Summerfield, a man so enthusiastic and dedicated to the cause that he has three Bass tattoos. “Landlord Carl Stout is very accommodating and they have a suitable private area for us to hold our meetings. Bass is my trusted go to beer, great taste and at 4.4% a perfect session beer. My Dad worked at Bass for many years as well. Historically it has punched way above its weight with Royals starting brews like King’s Ale and Prince’s Ale, becoming a global brand throughout the British Empire. Also never forget just how much Bass and the other breweries gave back to the town!”
I agree with Gary’s sentiments, albeit minus the tattoos. To steal from Brian Clough, “I wouldn’t say Bass is the best beer in the world, but it’s in the top one.”
My main question: what exactly do they do at these monthly meetings? About ten members sit with pints in hand as the chairman, Barry Edwards, kicks things off with a toast “Gentlemen, are we having a drink? Certainly!”. The printed agenda lists the mysterious “Gerreminagin and BFFG” twice, this is a call for beer and Break For a Fag and Gypsy’s. Minutes from the previous meeting are read aloud, immediately setting a tone of cheerful absurdity. Jokes fly, pints vanish, and the Treasurer admits, completely straight-faced, that his plan to invest club funds in a casino was “sadly thwarted.” Fifteen minutes in, the meeting screeches to a halt when there is a delivery of pork pies.
The subject of membership is next. It turns out the last recruit quit, having been strong-armed into joining before sheepishly admitting he didn’t actually like Bass. At this point, everyone looks at me. I cave, laughing, and agree to join. Which, according to HOBD’s wonderfully illogical rules, technically means I can’t. The whole thing is starting to feel like a Monty Python sketch. I sign anyway, another pint is shoved into my hand, and I make a mental note: resign as soon as possible. (I don’t.)
Amid the laughter, there’s a serious undercurrent. Talk turns to Bass itself, the “sleeping giant” of the beer world. For years, enthusiasts have been trying to wake it up: National Bass Day, The National Bass Directory of pubs, a Facebook group with thousands of members. Now, suddenly, AB-InBev is interested. New branded glasses are on tables, bar runners and mirrors are appearing in pubs, and I recently dragged the Brand Manager around Burton on a Bass pub crawl, he was impressed by the town’s passion for Bass.
Gary: “We have 43 virtual members and 29 full members, you can join the Facebook group but to become a full member you need to attend a meeting.”
So if you’ve got a soft spot for Bass, live near Burton, and enjoy a Sunday pint in good company, you could do far worse than an afternoon with the Honourable Order of Bass Drinkers. Bring a sense of humour. You’ll need it.